Monday, October 31, 2011

Big Fat Mike...

It looks like the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade float..err.. I mean Michael Moore had his clock cleaned today.

Seems like the "champion of the little guy" -- one of the-err..99-percenters had a bit of trouble when pressed about his $50 million dollars he was sitting on:

What I was wondering, what the hell were those #OWS protesters feeding him? I mean, a guy like that's gotta eat...

And then I came up with this...

To the tune of "Big John" by Jimmy Dean:

It all started one morning on the fifth of June.
the night that there was a big blue moon..
from that day on twasn't a donut that was safe
from the mouth of a great big oversized waif named Mike..
Big Mike, Big Miiiike..Michael Moore..

Well, the donut shop was a big hangout but he
ate all the donuts and he let out a shout-
he said "Where's more donuts?!" and the blow of his hand
sent another poor baker to the promised land, Big Mike...

Big Mike.. Big Miiiiike..Michael Moore!

Well all the donuts were gone-he grazed out of his range,
so he went to McDonald's to watch the numbers change-
after 3 million burgers he let out a sigh-
"With a meal like that I can go for some pie"

Big Mike. Big Mike--Big Miiiike- Michael Moore..

Well all the food was gone, there wasn't a lead-
everything was gone from fruit to seed,
so the townspeople said, "Everyone take heed-
let's blow this town, cause there's nothin left to feed Mike!"

Twas a voracious appetite that led Mike on,
to eatin' everything from buildings to lawn,
and he ate and he ate til there wasn't nothing left,
but this nine-story building at 5th & Calumet-Big Mike.

(Big Mike..Big Miiiike- Michael Moore).

Well, he started on the cornerstone and ate his way indoors-
he gobbled everything from the sinks to the floors-
but when he got to the trusses, the building collapsed--
and everybody knew they finally seen the last of Big Mike..

(Big Mike..Big Miiiike- Michael Moore)..

Well there's not much left of that town today-
all the townspeople just moved away..
not much of that building, 'cept a sign quite big- sayin'

(Big Mike--Big Miiiiike- Michael Moore)