Big Fat Mike...

It looks like the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade float..err.. I mean Michael Moore had his clock cleaned today.

Seems like the "champion of the little guy" -- one of the-err..99-percenters had a bit of trouble when pressed about his $50 million dollars he was sitting on:



What I was wondering, what the hell were those #OWS protesters feeding him? I mean, a guy like that's gotta eat...

And then I came up with this...

To the tune of "Big John" by Jimmy Dean:

It all started one morning on the fifth of June.
the night that there was a big blue moon..
from that day on twasn't a donut that was safe
from the mouth of a great big oversized waif named Mike..
Big Mike, Big Miiiike..Michael Moore..

Well, the donut shop was a big hangout but he
ate all the donuts and he let out a shout-
he said "Where's more donuts?!" and the blow of his hand
sent another poor baker to the promised land, Big Mike...

Big Mike.. Big Miiiiike..Michael Moore!

Well all the donuts were gone-he grazed out of his range,
so he went to McDonald's to watch the numbers change-
after 3 million burgers he let out a sigh-
"With a meal like that I can go for some pie"

Big Mike. Big Mike--Big Miiiike- Michael Moore..

Well all the food was gone, there wasn't a lead-
everything was gone from fruit to seed,
so the townspeople said, "Everyone take heed-
let's blow this town, cause there's nothin left to feed Mike!"

Twas a voracious appetite that led Mike on,
to eatin' everything from buildings to lawn,
and he ate and he ate til there wasn't nothing left,
but this nine-story building at 5th & Calumet-Big Mike.

(Big Mike..Big Miiiike- Michael Moore).

Well, he started on the cornerstone and ate his way indoors-
he gobbled everything from the sinks to the floors-
but when he got to the trusses, the building collapsed--
and everybody knew they finally seen the last of Big Mike..

(Big Mike..Big Miiiike- Michael Moore)..

Well there's not much left of that town today-
all the townspeople just moved away..
not much of that building, 'cept a sign quite big- sayin'
"AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS BUILDING LIES A BIG FAT PIG--BIG MIKE"

(Big Mike--Big Miiiiike- Michael Moore)

Blame Bush Song

It seems they can't help it. The democrats, being morally, ethically, and intellectually bankrupt, have seen their ratings swirl downward in the toilet of public opinion. As panicked as rats on the Titanic, Obama, Pelosi, Reid, and their willing sycophants in the echo-chamber media, knowing that their policies are dismal failures, have done the only thing that any bunch of self-loathing, grossly incompetent and delusional boobs could do: Blame Bush.

In that spirit, I offer:

We Blame George Bush, That Liar!

(to the Tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire" By Billy Joel)

Home defaults, Job Loss, Deficit, National Debt,

Gays in the Military, Global Warming too.

Terrorism, Richard Nixon, lower ratings, lack of vision

North Korea, diarrhea, Stinky smelling poo--

CHORUS

We may have ruined the nation

But it's only burnin'

Cause George Bush is vermin.

It's a great big conflagration

But to save our tush

we'll just blame George Bush

Snail Darters, Water's Gone, Stubbed Toes and My Browned-Out Lawn

High School Dropouts, Pregnant Teens, Communist Plots

Rain Storms, Hurricanes, don't forget Katrina Blames

Immigration, Low Taxation, and the Chicken Pox

CHORUS

Shirley Sherrod, 'nita Dunn, Van Jones (Mao is Fun),

Sunstein, Springsteen, We Can't Get Olympic Teams-

Spotted Owls, Angry Kooks, Ahmadinejad's got nukes!

CHORUS

We dems have ruined the nation,

But we'll still blame Bush

And we'll go on, and on, and on, and on, and on...

(inspired by @ConservativeLA)

The Obama Slide...

The Obama Slide... (to the tune of The Electric Slide)

He's Pathetic!

You can see it

He's pathetic!

Obama's gotta feel it

He's pathetic!
Ooh, he's tankin'


He's pathetic!

Bob-Gibbs-can't save it,
Spinnin' like a lunatic
He's tryin' to excuse it
But Obama's on a slide..

You gotta know it
He's pathetic!
Boogie woogie, woogie!
Obama can't hold it
He's pathetic!
Boogie woogie, woogie!
His socialism's crumblin,
Yeah here there everywhere

Barack's lost his groove,
He's watchin' his party slide
They'll be losin', losin' losin'
And from this fact he just can't hide.

And Another One's Under the Bus...

Yes, I know, any news over 24 hours old in the blogosphere is old news. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity brought by the 'resignation' of Anita Dunn to do this song parody:

(image via Scott Thong)

Another One's Under the Bus by Barack Obama
(with apologies to Freddie Mercury)

The Maoist walks up to the podium with the mic pulled way down low
Fawning press thrown at her feet, the presser's ready to go!
Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this?
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?
Gonna wage war on ol' Fox News, they'll go down in defeat!
But
Thump-thump-thwump Anita's thrown under the bus..yeah
Thump-thump-thwump And Anita Dunn's under the bus!
And another one gone
And another one down
Another one bites the dust
Hey, Obama's gonna get you too
Another one's under the bus!

How's Obama gonna get along without you when you're gone?
You gave him everything that you had but he kicked you out of his home
Is he happy? Is he satisfied?
How long can he stand the heat?
Out of the bus another corpse slips to the sound of the beat (Look out)
Thump-thump-thwump Another one's under the bus..yeah
Thump-thump-thwump Another one's under the bus..
And another one down
And another one gone
Another one's under the bus!
Hey, Obama's gonna get you too
Another one's under the bus!

HEY
Oh, it's crowded
Bite the dust
Under the bus yeah

Hey
Another one bites the dust
Another one's under the bus, oh
Another one bites the dust, hey, hey
Another one's under the bus, heeeeey
Oh, shoo 'em out!

There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man and throw him to the lost n found
You can ask Jeremiah you can ask Van Jones
Even Grandma hit the ground!
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet, but
Out of the doorway another corpse slips, repeating the sound of the beat. Oh yeeeah
Thump-thump-thwump Another one's under the bus!
Thump-thump-thwump Another one bites the dust
And another one down
And another one gone
Another one's under the bus
Hey, Obama's gonna get you too
Another one's under the bus
Shoot it
Hey
Alright

Welcome to the Nanny State..

Obama
(with apologies to Roger Waters)

Obama, do you think they'll drop the bomb?
Obama, do you think they'll like this song?
Obama, do you think they'll try to break my balls?
Ooooowaa Obama, should you build a wall?

Obama, glad you ran for president.
Obama now, I trust the government.
Obama, will you put them on the firing line?
Ooooowaa is it just a waste of time?

Hush, my baby. baby, dont you cry.
Obama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true.
Obama's gonna put all of his fears into you.
Obama's gonna keep you right here under his wing.
He wont let you fly, but he might let you sing.
Obama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm.
Oooo babe.
Oooo babe.
Ooo babe, of course Obama's gonna help build a wall.

Obama, is the economy good enough,
For me?
Obama, do you think that loan's dangerous,
To me?
Obama will it tear your little boy apart?
Ooooowaa Obama, will it break my heart?

Hush, my baby. baby, dont you cry.
Obama's gonna pay all of your loans off for you.
Obama won't let anything dirty get through.
Obama's gonna wait up until you get in.
Obama will always find out where you've been.
Obama's gonna keep baby healthy and clean.

And Obama's gonna make all of your cars now for you
He'll make all the payments and fix them all, too!
Obama will tell you how far you can drive
Obama will make sure that you get there alive
Oooo babe.
Oooo babe.
Ooo babe, youll always be baby to me.

Obama, did it need to be so high?

Obligatory Blogs for Mirth Post #1

Ode to Michael Moore (to the tune of "Close to you" by The Carpenters)

Why do flies, suddenly appear...
Every time you are near?
Can't you see, it's perfectly plain to see you have B.O.

Why do birds fall out of the sky...
Every time, you walk by?

Can't you see, it's perfectly plain to see you have, B.O...

On the day when you were born the angels got together
And decided to create a gag come true..
So they sprinkled cow dung in your hair
And sprayed some skunk juice in your armpits tooooooo (pee-yew)

That's why all the skunks in town...
Follow you, all around...
Can't you see, it's perfectly plain to see you have... B.O.
Can't you see, it's perfectly plain to see you have...B.O...

Why, Oh Why..do you have B.O. (I really wanna know, I really wanna know)
Why, Oh Why..do you have B.O. (I really wanna know I really wanna know)
Why, Oh Why..do you have B.O. (and I don't mean Barack Obamaaaaaaa)

Imagine...

With a major Presidential hopeful openly pining for one-world socialism, and the prospect of encroaching socialism moving ever more mainstream, it would appear that John Lennon's dream in his protest song, Imagine, is much closer to fruition this day and age.

So, with conservatism becoming the new counter-culture, I offer a protest song for the 21st century.

Imagine, for the 21st Century (without apology to John Lennon)

Imagine there're no Liberals
It's easy if you try
No welfare state to enslave us
Or taxing us to the sky...
Imagine all the people
Keeping their own wealth...

Imagine we have a country...
It isn't hard to do
One that we'll defend and die for..
And secure our borders, too
Imagine all the people
Living life secure...

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And our nation will be as one.

Imagine no class envy...
I wonder if you can
Opportunity for everyone..
From fetus unto man
Imagine all the people
Living the American Dream.. ah-haaa-ah!

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll be conservative
And our nation will live as one.

Grandma Got Run Over by Obama...(bumped from Mar 21)

CHORUS:
Grandma got run over by Obama
On his way to Denver the other eve.
You might say Obama's not a racist,
But as for me an' Grandpa, we believe.

He'd been taking so much flak now,
From being buds with Pastor Wright.
Who spread his hate-speech 'bout our nation,
Even though Obama's mom was white.

When we found her the next morning,
At the scene of the attack
She had "racist" tattooed on her forehead,
And Obama's footprints 'cross her back.

CHORUS

Now we're so proud of ol' Obama,
He'd explained it oh so well.
There's race problems in this country
But even Grandma's racist
so what the hell! (Refrain)

It's not a campaign without Grandma,
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder
Who's the next family member he'll attack! (HE'LL ATTACK!)

CHORUS

I've warned all my friends and
neighbors,
Better watch out for yourselves.
They should never vote for POTUS,
A guy who won't wear flags on his lapel.

Sing it, Grandpa!

CHORUS

Update: I got the idea for and immediately wrote this after I saw the title of Matt Abe's post on True North. As the body of the message was hidden, I hadn't seen that he had already done a fine parody. My apologies to Matt Abe.

Click here for main page and latest posts!

Time for a Reprise...

Heh...Perhaps this song parody I wrote (in May, 2006) is finally what made ol' wasted Neil "take a look at his life," and come to terms with his irrelevance: (h/t Tracy at Anti-Strib):

Neil Young's latest moonbat diatribe:

Let’s impeach the president for lying

And leading our country into war

Abusing all the power that we gave him

And shipping all our money out the door

He’s the man who hired all the criminals

The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors

And bend the facts to fit with their new stories

Of why we have to send our men to war

Let’s impeach the president for spying

On citizens inside their own homes

Breaking every law in the country

By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees

Would New Orleans have been safer that way

Sheltered by our government’s protection

Or was someone just not home that day?

Let’s impeach the president

For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected

Dividing our country into colors

And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god he’s racking down on steroids

Since he sold his old baseball team

There’s lot of people looking at big trouble

But of course the president is clean

Thank God

You know, he could have been singing about Bill Clinton...

But, since Neil Young was good enough to make a song about our President, the least I could do would be to return the favor:

(Sung to the tune: Old Man)

Neil Young, look at your life, you're a moonbat has-been!
Neil Young, look at your life, you're a moonbat has-been!

Neil Young look at your life,
64 and and there's just no more
Livin' in a drunken stupor
Mind all full o' goo...
Livin on half a brain
blew your mind out on cocaine
All your lyrics are inane
And your voice is too...

{Refrain}
Neil Young take a look at your life-not a lot to say...
Like a bad case of herpes you won't go away.
Ah one look at your songs and I can barf all day...

Neil Young, look at your life-
You're a moonbat has-been!

Moonbat lies, look in your eyes
glazed over red and you look half dead..
Livin in a 60s fog brought on by LSD
Relevance--passed you by
Clinging to the same ol' lie
You can run but you cannot hide
You ain't foolin' me!

{Refrain}
Neil Young take a look at your life
You're a lot like poo.
Toxic waste of a person your whole life through..
Take one look in the mirror--an' you can tell it's true!

Neil Young, look at your life-
You're a moonbat has-been!

Chavez Gets PWN3D!

Story Here!

Time for another Happy Dance!

On a more somber note, sources close to Chavez report that Hugo's long-time mentor and lover whispered sweet words of consolation in his ear:

Though the content of the exchange remains unclear, it was believed to be Castro's own rendition of "Don't worry baby," which reportedly went a little something like this:

DON'T WORRY BABY (By Fidel Castro)

Well Hugo it's been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I kept thinking
Something's bound to go wrong

But I look into your eyes,
And your ability to traumatize
And I say, "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
When I bragged about my health care,
But I can't back down now--
Michael Moore thinks I'm Fred Astaire!

And he makes me come alive
And makes me wanna drive
When he says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

And I told you, "Baby when they vote today
Just take along my love with you,"
And if you know how much they loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you"

But screw their vote today--
Just torture their asses as you say,
"Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright

Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby

****UPDATE****
Welcome Dr. Sanity Readers

Please click here and have a look around.

Algore on a Secret Mission!

It appears that Algore has been called on a secret and "super cereal" mission!!

In a note sent to event supporters and posted on the blog, Boxer wrote: "I just got a call from Vice President Al Gore. He told me that he needs to travel abroad tomorrow for an exciting and urgent mission that could result in a major breakthrough in the fight against global warming manbearpig!"

Now, a man on such an important, super-cereal mission should have his own theme song!

I therefore submit :

(cue music)

Enviro-Whacko Man (with apologies to Johnny Rivers)

There's a man whose oh so continental

But everyone he meets, they think he's mental..

With every speech he makes,

Another "fact" he fakes

An' odds are that he'll lie again tomorrow.

Enviro-whacko Man!

Enviro-whacko Man!

They've given you a Nobel.

They've fallen for your plan!

Beware of pretty faces that you find.

A pretty face may hide an evil mind.

Ooh be careful what you say.

Cause your lies give you away!

But odds are that you'll lie again tomorrow!

Enviro-Whacko Man!

Enviro-Whacko Man!

That manbearpig's a comin'

It's all part of your plan.

Jetting to the Riviera one day

Layin' in a Bombay alley the next day

With every global stint

Another Carbon foot print!

But odds are that you'll lie again tomorrow!

Enviro-Whacko Man!

Enviro-Whacko Man!

They've given you a Nobel.

And fell right for your plan!

Enviro-Whacko Maaaaaaaaaan!

Am I detecting a pattern here?

Yet another Clinton, Inc toadie has conveniently gone missing. It seems that Norman Hsu is nowhere to be found.






By the way, Does anyone know where Charlie Trie is?







Does anyone know where James Ryadi or John Huang are?











Has anyone checked Fort Marcy Park, lately?









If nothing else, if I were Norman Hsu (and I'm not), I'd be extra careful when getting on an airplane.





Or, at the very least, I'd wear a kevlar helmet.













In other words, I guess, if I were Norman Hsu (and I'm not), I'd be shittin' in my pants right now.











That is, if peristalsis is still a possibility for the guy.









I actually feel sorry for the guy...so sorry that I believe I'll break out in song...

Ed, Vince & Hsu
(Music opens in a new window--to the tune of Abraham, Martin & John)
(in the voice of Bill Clinton)

Has anybody here
Seen my old friend Ed Willey?
Can you tell me
Where he has gone
'Cos his wife was pretty hot
But it seems the good die young
I just turned around (bang)
And he was gone

Has anybody here
Seen my old friend Calvin
Can you tell me
Where he has gone
'Cos he was givin' Jocelyn trouble
But boy the good die young,
I just looked around
And he was gone (bang)

Has anybody here
Seen my old friend Norman Hsu
Can you tell me
Where he has gone
'Cos He gave us a lot of cash
From people who had none...
I just looked around
And he was gone
(swimmin' with the fishies?)
And now he's gone...

Livin' in a KOS-Kids' Paradise...

With the "irrational exuberance" being displayed by the left with regard to the upcoming elections, I thought this song parody to be fitting:

I fleck spittle on my puter thru the Underground and KOS
I take a look at the posts and hope there's no loss..
Cause I've been puffin on my bong and doin' shrooms so long
That even my kitty thinks my mind is gone

But I ain't never dissed a wingnut that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a moonbat yo-that's unheard of.
You better watch how you thinkin, or how you talkin' yo-
Cause my homies at the ACLU will be stalkin' ya

I really hate to trip, but I gotta hope
That the judges don't catch me when I try to vote--twice!
I'm the kinda leftist little KOS-kids wanna be like
On my puter at night
Fleckin' spittle on their web site!

been spending most our lives
Living in the KOS-kids' Paradise
Common sense we'll sacrifice
Living in the KOS-kid's Paradise
Bashin' Bush is our device
Living in the KOS-kid's Paradise
Fleckin' spittle once or twice
Living in the KOS-Kids' Paradise


Look at the situation, they got us facin
Our candidates can't think cuz all their minds are wasted
Still we gotta be down with the DNC
So we watchin' CNN with the rest of the homies!


I'm a educated fool, wit power on my mind
Protest sign in my hand and crazed look in my eye
I'm a doped-out moonbat, don't confuse me with no facts!
Bush lied-people died, Rove is evil to the max!


Power ain't nuthin but a 'lection away
We gotta win, do-or-die ah, what can I say?
We ain't won in 8 years will it be eighteen more?
The way things is goin I don't know

Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
We've a collective intelligence of a tree..

been spending most our lives
Living in the KOS-kids' Paradise
Common sense we'll sacrifice
Living in the KOS-kid's Paradise
Bashin' Bush is our device
Living in the KOS-kid's Paradise
Fleckin' spittle once or twice
Living in the KOS-Kids' Paradise

LA Times and the WAPO, Reuters and the AP
Minute after minute, takin' points fron the DNC
Them homies cookin stories designed to help our guys
They cookin' all the polls, and servin up all the lies..

They say the 'pubs 'll lose, but no-one cept us believes 'em
But if they're not buyin' it, how the hell can we reach 'em?
I guess we can't -- I guess we won't
I guess they front; that's why I know we outta luck, fool

been spending most our lives
Living in the KOS-kids' Paradise
Common sense we'll sacrifice
Living in the KOS-kid's Paradise
Bashin' Bush is our device
Living in the KOS-kid's Paradise
Fleckin' spittle once or twice
Living in the KOS-Kids' Paradise

Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
We'd be better off with a chim-panzee!
Tell me why are we -- so blind to see
Our homies are vapid as can be!

----------
Filed under Moonbat Adventures, Song Parodies

Neil Young...... You're getting old.

Neil Young's latest moonbat diatribe:

Let’s impeach the president for lying

And leading our country into war

Abusing all the power that we gave him

And shipping all our money out the door

He’s the man who hired all the criminals

The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors

And bend the facts to fit with their new stories

Of why we have to send our men to war

Let’s impeach the president for spying

On citizens inside their own homes

Breaking every law in the country

By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees

Would New Orleans have been safer that way

Sheltered by our government’s protection

Or was someone just not home that day?

Let’s impeach the president

For hijacking our religion and using it to get elected

Dividing our country into colors

And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god he’s racking down on steroids

Since he sold his old baseball team

There’s lot of people looking at big trouble

But of course the president is clean

Thank God

You know, he could have been singing about Bill Clinton...

But, since Neil Young was good enough to make a song about our President, the least I could do would be to return the favor:

(Sung to the tune: Old Man)

Neil Young, look at your life, you're a moonbat has-been!
Neil Young, look at your life, you're a moonbat has-been!

Neil Young look at your life,
64 and and there's just no more
Livin' in a drunken stupor
Mind all full o' goo...
Livin on half a brain
blew your mind out on cocaine
All your lyrics are inane
And your voice is too...

{Refrain}
Neil Young take a look at your life-not a lot to say...
Like a bad case of herpes you won't go away.
Ah one look at your songs and I can barf all day...

Neil Young, look at your life-
You're a moonbat has-been!

Moonbat lies, look in your eyes
glazed over red and you look half dead..
Livin in a 60s fog brought on by LSD
Relevance--passed you by
Clinging to the same ol' lie
You can run but you cannot hide
You ain't foolin' me!

{refrain}
Neil Young take a look at your life
You're a lot like poo.
Toxic waste of a person your whole life through..
Take one look in the mirror--an' you can tell it's true!

Neil Young, look at your life-
You're a moonbat has-been!


***Update***

Welcome Fraters and Pajamas Media readers. Have a chair. Make yourself at home.


(Filed under the fifth column, moonbat adventures)