A copy of the eulogy I delivered at my father's wake..
A Life, Simply Led.
A life, simply led, can have a profound effect on the world. Take my dad, for instance.
He was no Nobel laureate; he had a 10th grade education. Yet he knew things about people and how to relate to people that all the Masters and PhDs in the world couldn’t teach you. And teach me, he did. He had a simple way about him. Never one to put on airs; Leo had a down to earth sense of humor and a welcoming personality that immediately attracted people to him. Here are some of the valuable lessons that we learned as kids from Leo:
Lesson Number One: Be yourself and friends will come.
When I was young, I, for one, couldn’t understand this attraction and affection that others had for my dad. Of course, as many a young lad does, I had him pegged in this “dad box;” and, as is the case with many a young lad, I was certain that even if I didn’t quite know everything there was to know in the world (though, at the tender young age of 15, I was certain that I was near that point), I was most certainly smarter than my dad. I was too young, too foolish, and too proud to realize and recognize just how wise this guy with a 10th grade education actually was, and just how big a heart a man could really have.
But even at the wise age of 15, I soon came to realize that Dad was in his element (and I was out of mine), when he was dealing with people. When it came to dealing with people, Dad was Michaelangelo; a master artist using only himself and his real personality as a medium. Every social interaction was a masterpiece.
I remember going to the local watering hole in Auburndale with my dad; in the small farming community, the local bar was the gathering place for all, including families with children. But I remember my dad regaling people there with his tales from the Army and his years as a truck driver; and having everyone there just rolling in laughter and hanging on his every word. And I remember sitting there, watching the proceedings, just flabbergasted that they would hang on every word uttered by my dad.
Lesson Number 2: Family comes first, and foremost; nothing is more important.
As a child our home was a regular hang out for relatives. No, not just one or two, but sometimes literally dozens of folks would descend from out of town, making our two-flat apartment look like the Berwyn version of O’Hare Airport during a blizzard. In his wisdom, he knew the value of family, and welcomed the many, many relatives from my mom’s side with open arms; the more being the merrier. Leo’s open doors hospitality policy for visitors extended to their home in Auburndale Wisconsin; as you’ll see on one of the pictures on the posters, on one weekend there were over 40 people in the home. With one bathroom. And a limited-capacity septic tank. I won’t draw you the picture; I’m sure you get it. But not only did my dad take everything in stride, he welcomed the challenge. Time spent with family was the sweet golden trim on the tapestry that was life, and he relished every moment, including our weekly Sunday trip to Grandma and Grandpa Pusateri’s house, where we would enjoy dinner and the company of Uncle Lee and Aunt Dorothy and their kids; which not only nourished family bonds, but also built true friendships that would last the course of a lifetime.
Lesson Number 3: Work hard; sacrifice; provide for your family.
Dad never had what one could call a “cushy job.”
Dad began driving a truck at the age of 12, while working for his father in his father’s grocery store.
From working 16 hour days, 7 days a week, for five dollars a week at the local Jewel; to delivering mail, while walking two routes per day, including Christmas, during his 12-year tenure in the Post Office; to driving countless miles away from home during his 25-year tenure as a truck driver; to taking seemingly menial cleaning jobs when there were no other jobs to be had; we as children never went a day when we were wanting for food nor the basic necessities of life. And no matter what he did, no matter how seemingly menial the task, my dad was proud of his work. Providing for his family was a responsibility that Leo embraced. Our education was also very important to Dad; and he made sure that there was enough money saved so that the tuition for all five of us kids to go through St. Mary of Celle School, from kindergarten through 8th grade, could be met. And yet somehow, Dad and mom managed to save enough money so that we could go for a family vacation nearly every year, or spend our summers at Hansen’s Hideaway campground.
Through example, Dad taught me the dignity of a hard day’s work; along with the virtue of sacrifice, putting his children and family ahead of himself.
Lesson Number 4: The Art of Life is embodied in Service to Others
During our growing up years, Dad worked many hours providing for his family; yet he also managed to find a lot of time to be active in our lives and to volunteer to serve others. When he wasn’t driving semi loads across the country, he would often be driving us kids to various functions, such as ballet and music lessons. Dad was an assistant Cub Master for our local boy-scout troop, and was instrumental in making sure that a lot of working class kids got to take the ride of their lifetimes in a turbo-prop airplane around the Chicago skyline; complete with a chartered bus to get us to the airport. My dad was also Commander for the local chapter of Catholic War Veterans, and was active in the Moose Community in Forest Park.
But perhaps the greatest service of all that my dad performed was being a good father, and a good friend. No matter where he lived, no matter whom he met, Dad went out of his way to know everyone on a first name basis. He was eager to know people; where they worked, how many kids they had, what were their likes and dislikes. While he and my mother, and then he and my stepmother Nell, lived in Marshfield, Dad couldn’t go anywhere in town without seeing a number of people that he knew and asking him how they were doing.
The entire city of Marshfield, Wisconsin was “Cheers,” and Dad was “Norm.”
Even during his relatively short time at Spring Meadows, Dad took the time to know everyone of the 150+ residents by name. When I came to visit with the residents after his death, I was told that Leo, being true to his nature, was the hub of social activity at Spring Meadows. He was the one, more than any other resident there, I am told, who would get people together. If there was a new resident, Leo would come up to the resident and say, “You’re new here. Why don’t we talk,” and would immediately do his level best to make the new resident feel at home. The people there were visibly shaken at the news of Leo’s death, for they lost a dear friend as much as we lost a father.
Our father’s life was indeed a life simply led. Yet such profound lessons were taught to us as his children that one couldn’t simply learn in any sort of a formal way. In leading by example, our father left a legacy that will be difficult for any of us to match; yet, in emulating him, and in teaching our children through the same examples he gave, his legacy of leaving the world a better place than he found it will beyond a doubt have taken root and will flourish for many years to come.
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