Now this oughta increase the tax base of New York State...

And maybe monkeys will fly out of David Paterson's butt, as well.

In a fit of economic suicidality, the esteemed governor of New York has decided to tax everything from I-pods to massages. In the words of Paterson,

"We're going to have to take some extreme measures," Paterson said Tuesday after unveiling the slash-and-burn budget.

And just how are you going to raise revenues after you slash and burn the economic climate of New York, Governor Paterson?

In the prescient words of Ronaldus Magnus,

"If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it."