Throwing my hat in the ring...

As a self-nominated candidate, I threw my hat in the ring for the high office of MOB mayor. For some reason (even though I have the coolest handle in the MOB) Foot doesn't like my chances:

Leo "Psycmeister" Pusateri. Self-nominated, Leo doesn't really stand a chance in hell of winning this thing. However, if Tucci and Aplikowski split the Residyool Froces vote, Bobo and Swiftee split the People Who Like Swear Words vote, and Bobo, Tucci and Swiftee split the Guys with Hairy Backs vote, Pusatelli has an outside chance, provided he doesn't split the votes of this state's 4 Italian-Americans with Tucci.

UPSIDE: As a shrink and school counselor, Pusatelli has a lock on the Sensitive New Age Guys and Soccer Moms bloc.

DOWNSIDE: None of those people read KAR.

ODDS: 65,591 to 1.

In his assessment, "The Foot" fails to take into account two key issues with regard to my campaign:

1. I'm Sicilian-Italian
2. I'm from Chicago

I'll have the cemetery vote all wrapped up.

And when I'm Mayor, people will know why they call it "The MOB".

After all--why do you think the current mayor is "swimming with the fishies" in a concrete overcoat?

Now kiss my ring, dammit!