On Teaching Pigs to Sing.

You're showing weakness, my friend:

Republican Sen. John McCain, engaged in increasingly sharp attacks on rival Barack Obama, pledged that if elected president, he would work closely with Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, praising her as an effective leader and an "inspiration to millions of Americans."

"I respect Speaker Pelosi. I think she's one of the great American success stories," McCain said during an interview with The Chronicle prior to a fundraiser at the Fairmont Hotel in San Francisco.

"We talk about (New York Sen.) Hillary Clinton and her inspiration to millions of Americans. Speaker Pelosi has been an inspiration as well" in a role that is "in many ways ... more powerful than the president."

And McCain also had high praise for the 2000 Democratic presidential candidate Al Gore and his advocacy on the issue of climate change. McCain recently raised eyebrows in GOP circles by calling "doable" Gore's suggestion that the country could become entirely energy independent through use of renewable resources within 10 years.

"I agree with his goal," the Arizona senator said Monday of Gore's idea. "I may disagree with all the ways of getting there. But I again want to emphasize my respect for the former vice president's leadership on this issue and his continuous leadership. And I am in no way trying to get into a fight with him."

You should know by now, Senator, that any time you extend an olive branch to those on the left, all they'll do is turn around and whack you with it.

Do you honestly think for one moment that since you're "Maverick John McCain" that they'll go easy on you? That they will finally see the error of their ways, and a new wave of bipartisanship will descend upon the Capitol steps?

Give me a break.

You ain't playing with no choirboys, John McCain. While they may exchange a nicety or two in return, they'll still stab you in the back at every chance they get. Again, and again, and again. Don't ever, I mean ever expect them to "get along" with you, Senator McCain.

At the same time, Senator, you're not impressing anyone in your base by this unilateral show of civility. We want someone who will fight for what is right, not one who will acquiesce to the left for the mere purpose of avoiding confrontation. It's not that we're mean spirited grumpy old men and women, Senator. It's just that we've been around the block enough times and observed enough occasions to know that any show of civility toward these creeps will be met with disdain and sardonic laughter, followed by a series of stabs in the back that will truly make your head spin.

And then they'll get really mean.

The point is, your show of civility will not be met in kind with any degree of substance, period.

Save your accolades and your handshakes for the people who will support you, Senator McCain.

History has proven that to waste your time with these morons is much like trying to teach a pig to sing; though you may actually have more success with the pig.