Sunday, March 04, 2007

Vying for the black vote...

It seems that Sen. Hillary Clinton has been trying to compete with Obama in courting the black vote this weekend in Selma, Alabama:

SELMA, Ala. (AP) -- Presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton crossed campaign paths for the first time Sunday as they paid homage to civil rights activists who helped give them the chance to break barriers to the White House.

The two senators who hope to be president linked arms with activists who 42 years ago were attacked by police with billyclubs during a peaceful voting rights march. "Bloody Sunday" shocked the nation and helped bring attention to the racist voting practices that kept blacks from the polls.

"I'm here because somebody marched for our freedom," Obama, who would become the first black president, said from the Brown Chapel AME Church where the march began on March 7, 1965. "I'm here because you all sacrificed for me. I stand on the shoulders of giants."

Not to be outdone in the hunt for black votes, Hillary Clinton also spoke in Selma at a church three blocks away and brought a secret weapon. Three days before the march anniversary, her campaign announced that her husband, the former president, would accompany her and be inducted into Selma's Voting Rights Hall of Fame. Bill Clinton is one of the most admired men in the black community, sometimes referred to as the first "black" president by influencial black leaders.

And, it just so happened that the "first black President" gave his wife some pointers on how to better fit in with the bloc:

After leading the crowd in rousing renditions of JayZ's Big Pimpin' and Missy Elliott's "Get Ur Freak On," Mrs. Clinton promised that if elected, she would "Get down wild wid' da homeys staight up."

Mrs. Clinton then went on to tell the crowd that she always liked rap music, especially that "half dollar guy;" and that contrary to the story that she was named for Sir Edmund Hillary, Mrs. Clinton regaled the crowd with the factoid that her parents actually named her after famous rapper "Tupac Shakur."

When someone in the audience reminded her that Tupac was actually born in 1971, nearly 23 years after she was, Hillary retorted, "Well, my parents were ahead of the game, you know whad' I'm sayin, Homes?"

Hillary's next campaign stop is reportedly going to be in Iowa. Her handlers tell our Ice Palace reporters that in order to bond with those in "flyover country," Mrs. Clinton plans to artificially inseminate a cow, dance the cotton-eyed Joe, sing "Stand by Your Man," and tell Iowans that her parents actually named her after her family's old gray mare.


Reader Aristophanes was wondering if Hillary was also going to try to suck up appeal to the soccer mom crowd...

Well, the crack Ice Palace staff (or was that the Ice Palace staff on crack?) got hold of an advance copy one of Hillary's future publicity stills:

Coming soon: Hillary tries to appeal to the S & M voting bloc.

(On second thought, that should be a no-brainer for her).

***UPDATE 2*****

Chicago Ray has another great post outlining more of Hillary's Histerics...