Stupid DFL Tricks, Part I

In this first in a series of posts in the coming days, I plan to highlight stupid Minnesota Democrat-Farm-Labor Party bills that have been introduced thus far this legislative session:

click here to see the actual text of these bills

1. GLASS BOTTLES ON BOATS: Rep. Andy Welti (D-Plainview) wants to impose severe criminal penalties if you “carry, use, or possess” a glass container on a watercraft or along Minnesota’s public waters. You could get 270 days in jail if you have a picnic on the lake and bring glass bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish. If you have a six-pack of Buddy’s Cola from New Ulm on your pontoon boat, you would face 540 days behind bars, because each bottle would be a separate offense under the precise language of the bill. If you bring a jar of cold cream when you go sunbathing, you could do 90 days for that misdemeanor. Rep. Welti later said he introduced the bill as an anti-littering proposal, but his bill outlaws mere “possession” of the deadly glass containers. (House File 522) Criminal possession of ketchup?

2. YOU SHOULD HAVE A WRITTEN RIGHT FOR BATHROOM BREAKS: Rep. Rick Hansen (D-South St. Paul) wants the state to require written policies for employees of meatpackers to provide “adequate time for necessary bathroom breaks.” The bill would also create a “Meat-Packers’ Bill of Rights,” calling for written job descriptions and written salary descriptions. The bill would also create a state bureaucracy to guarantee these rights. (House File 643).

3. TWO DAYS OF PAID LEAVE FOR BOYFRIENDS: Rep. Joe Mullery (D-Minneapolis) wants to give up to two days of paid leave each year for “significant others” who live in a household with a child to attend school meetings or deal with student-related meetings. (House File 744)

4. KNOCK, KNOCK! THE BABY INSPECTORS ARE HERE: Rep. Carolyn Laine (D-Columbia Heights) would require government investigators to visit every new mother in the hospital or at home to inquire whether they new about all the requirements of a new mother and all the programs that government offers on such topics as WIC, child abuse, and immunizations. (House File 595)

5. KEEPING GOVERNMENT GOING ON AUTO-PILOT: Rep. Bernie Lieder (D-Crookston) wants to take the pressure off the Legislature to get its work done by allowing all state agencies to keep going even if the Legislature does not approve funding for them. (House File 534)