Friday, January 09, 2009

In a KSTP-TV back office...

:::phone rings::::

KSTP: Hello, this is KSTP-TV Polls -r -Us!

You tell us what you want, and we'll tailor a poll to fit your needs.

:::voice on other line::::

FRANKEN: Yeah... this is Al Franken... Look-- I'm really in a hurry, and I want Coleman to concede. Can you make a poll that tells him to hit the friggen road?

KSTP: Sure, Al. Anything for a fellow traveller.

FRANKEN: Thanks...

--two days later, the phone rings at Franken's stately apartment in New York City

KSTP: Err... hi Al.

FRANKEN: Hey--didja get my poll done?

KSTP: Well...err... yeah, but you might not like the results. We did the best to fudge it and to word it in your favor, but a good 45% of Minnesota citizens still think you're a schmuck.

FRANKEN: What the hell kind of pollsters are you? You're the friggen lame..err... mainstream media! You're supposed to be on my side!!! Can't I order a g*ddmn poll without you f*cking it up????

KSTP: Look, Mr. Franken... maybe we can work something out (long pause)... I know!!! We'll just word the title, in huge bold letters, "Coleman should concede," and leave it at that. Most folks won't even read past the headline.

FRANKEN: Well... it's a start.

(h/t Newsbusters)