Charter Scam, Parte Deux...***UPDATED***

I received the following communication today from Charter Communications:

Dear Leo

The Charter High-Speed for Life auction is ending in 48 hours! (Wed. 3/26, 12pm CDT)

The current high bid is only $37,429.36. There is still time to bid to win Charter High-Speed
for Life – but time is running out.

Go to the auction to submit your bid!

Complete auction and sweepstakes rules

Good luck!
Charter Communications®



©2008 Charter Communications.

This email was sent by Charter Communications
12405 Powerscourt Drive
St. Louis, MO 63131

My response was thus:

Dear people at Charter Communications:
Why, in all that is sacred, would I choose to spend $37,429.36 on "high speed internet" for life?

Let's break it down here, shall we?

At $54.99 per month, the current price for your highest internet speed, your currently-stated high bid of $37429.36 would buy nearly 681 months, or nearly 57 years of service.

Given that, note that I am:

1. Currently 48 years old. Which means that I'll be at the young age of 105 before I even reach the "break even" point. Even if the high bidder was a wealthy 20-year old, that would mean that the bidder would need to reach the ripe old age of 77 years old before he or she started getting "free" internet.
   
2. That is, of course, given that the price of internet will remain constant or go higher in the coming years. Moore's Law suggests otherwise. The cost of long-distance telephony over time is a good analogy.
   
3. That is, of course, also given that high speed internet remains in the same form and infrastructure 57 years from today as it is today. This I highly doubt.

These considerations lead to a number of conclusions:

1. I will not bid on this auction, given the fact that "my momma didn't raise no fool."
2. I'm quite taken aback that a supposedly above-board organization like Charter Communications would actually pull a scam like this. If I could see through this ruse, then certainly anyone with half a brain, taking more than a minute to look at it, can figure it out as well. This cannot bode well, IMO, for public relations. There may have been a redeeming value if the proceeds of said auction were to go to charity; but since they are not, it is my assessment that there are truly nefarious, shady, con-man like intentions at play.
   
3. Given your highly restrictive rules, specifically that heirs aren't able to take advantage of the spoils of "victory" should the high bidder meet an untimely demise, (not to mention that after three years, if you move out of range of Charter, you lose your $37k) stands as proof to me that you have less-than-honorable intentions in this matter.
   
4. Given the above, as a current Charter customer, I wouldn't feel bad at all about discontinuing my long-standing relationship with Charter Cable, and Charter Cable High Speed Internet, specifically. I don't make it a practice to do business with con-men.
   

Sincerely,

Leo Pusateri

****UPDATE****

I just got off the phone with a representative from Charter Communications, who agreed that the auction was getting out of hand, but stated that they couldn't call it off. After speaking with the marketing department, the representative told me that Charter Communications will issue a press release later today that they have decided to donate all the proceeds from this auction to Habitat for Humanity.

***UPDATE 3-26-08, 10:34pm******

The bloodletting has ended. Some poor schmuck from Lawrenceville, Georgia got left holding the bag for $71,540.... at that rate, he'll need to live for over 108 more years just to break even.

At any rate, yours truly was instrumental in convincing Charter that it would be good P.R. move to donate the proceeds of the auction... therefore, I'm responsible for $71,540 going to Habitat for Humanity.

Who says blogs don't make a difference? :-)

But that aside, my only remaining question is, how did someone that dumb come into so much money?