How much would you pay for internet for life? (updated and bumped)

That's the interesting question Charter Cable is asking, and acting upon.

Right now, Charter Cable/Internet is having an auction; with the highest bidder to receive high-speed internet service for life (at Charter's highest speed available).

Mind you that the highest speed available from Charter (10mps) is now 54.99 per month.

As of the time of this writing, (12:01am, CDT, 3-13-08) the high bid was $12,200; (and this amount is continuing to climb at a rapid rate--and the auction doesn't end til March 26th, 2008--another 13 days) That means that even if there are no more bids, given that the winning bidder had instead spent a like amount of money over time for premium high speed cable internet, such a price would command nearly 221 months of service. That means that the winning bidder at the current high bid as of this writing would have to wait over 18 1/2 years before the investment started paying off. This doesn't even take into account the amount of interest that could have been made on the same amount of money over time, which would be staggering, at the least.

Note also, that even if the high bidder dies the day after the auction ends, his or her heirs won't get a day of high speed internet. Charter will pocket the dough.

Also, bear in mind, that if the high bidder would happen to need to move to another location where Charter internet is not available, they may get a small portion of their bidded amount back if the move happens within a three-year time period of winning the auction. Otherwise, tough shit pal, you lose.

And yet more importantly, internet and even home computers 18 years from now will look very different, and "high speed cable" will by then have probably gone the way of the buggy whip.

Now if the proceeds were going toward a worthwhile charity, I may see a point in bidding $12,200+ for high speed internet for life. But there is no mention of any charity nor is there any mention of the direction of the proceeds from the auction. I contacted Charter via email and haven't yet received a response. At this point, it looks like a marketing gimmick that's going to result in a windfall for Charter and a financial raping of some poor dupe who didn't know when to quit bidding.

No doubt P.T. Barnum is alive and well, with a new place of employment at the headquarters of Charter.com.

*****UPDATE*****

As of 4:30pm CDT on March 13, 2008, the high bid is $13,351.00. Using the above formula, that amount, given that rates did not change (which, as JRoosh has noted in the comments, would be highly unlikely, as rates will most likely decrease) would buy a customer nearly 243 months, or 20 1/4 years of service before the "free service" would start.

Charter has yet to respond whether any proceeds will go to charity, and there is still nothing on Charter's site that suggests that any of it will.

Now I have no problem with Charter getting rich off the deal, I guess, but in the end there's bound to be one pissed-off bidder who's only response will be "Doh!" and a slap to the forehead when he/she realizes that they have been taken to the proverbial cleaners.

***UPDATE AND BUMP***

I was able to get in touch with a representative from the corporate offices of Charter Cable via phone, who confirmed that at this point none of the proceeds of the auction are going to charity; however, upon conferring with a marketing official, he stated that the marketing official thought it would be "a good idea."

As it sits now, 4:05pm CDT, March 14, the high bid for "internet for life" sits at $16,150.

At this point, all else being equal, and not figuring potential interest earned, the "break even" day if that were the winning bid, would come in 293 months, or nearly 24.5 years.

Geesh... this would be comical if it wasn't so tragic.

I should have re-titled this post, "Fools and their money."

****UPDATE Number 3******

As of 7:22 pm CDT, March 15th, the bidding is now $19,000. That works out to 345 months, or nearly 28-years, 10-months before the break-even point!!!

To put it in illegal immigrant lingo: Ay CARUMBA~~~

****UPDATE Number 4****

As of Saturday, 3-22-08, at 1:05pm, the high bid stands at $34,365.00 (with 4 days left). Using our heretofore formula, the current high bid as it stands would take 624 months, or 52 years, just to break even. Even if the high bidder happens to be a wealthy, albeit idiotic 20-year old, the person would be 72 years old before he or she started getting "free" high-speed internet!

Will we even have "internet" as we know it in another 52 years???