Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Congress in the Baseball business? Hallelujiah!!

Congress, in its ever expanding "nanny of the nation" role, has seen fit to stick its collective probiscus in the business of Major League Baseball, subpoenaing seven of its players in connection with its investigation regarding Major League Baseball and steroid use amongst its ranks. Thank you again, o saving government, for letting us sleep at night in the knowledge that you're keeping us safe from steroid using ballplayers. Since our esteemed lawmakers have the luxury of spending their time on this scandal, it must certainly be so that our nation's other myriad problems must be solved. We must evidently be secure in the knowledge that our heretofore porous borders are now solidified and impervious to terrorists. We must have within the past few weeks solved our nation's energy difficulties and are no longer subject to the whims and shakedowns of extremist mullahs hell-bent, among other things, on obliterating our allies from the map, and funding our enemies. Yes, dear readers, we can finally live peacefully in the knowledge that our job in Iraq is evidently now deemed a fait accompli.

Yes, friends, if Congress has enough time and energy to devote to protecting us from steroid using millionaire ballplayers, the world must truly be in good hands.