Doing my level best to help...
The problem is, Babs is having trouble finding a first-rate opeining act to cover for her fifth-rate singing style. Babs has reportedly contacted such past Streisand stalwarts as Neil Diamond and Barry Gibb, but no one wanted the honor embarrassment of touring with her. So she reportedly has settled for the unknown quartet of "good looking" male opera singers (upon hearing this, rumor has it that Michael Jackson considered tagging along, until he found out that they were all over the age of 18). It seems to me that the opening act of Bab's show shold be able to provide entertainment, while at the same time make an inane moonbat political statement, as Babs often is wont to do. Well, never let it be said that The Ice Palace is insensitive to the needs of moonbats, especially limousine liberal moonbats.
Therefore, with apologies to Nihlist, I respectully submit:
Top 11 suggested alternative opening acts for the upcoming Babs tour...
11. Ted Kennedy and the Waitress Sandwich Swim Maids
10. Cindy Sheehan and the New Riders of the Purple Corpse
9. Michael Jackson, featuring Les Boys
8. Bill Clinton and his Cigar-Studded Interns
7. Harry Belafonte and the Straitjackets
6. Nick Coleman and the wing nuts
5. Ray Nagin and the Chocolate City, debuting their version of the 70's disco line dance, The Bus Stop.
4. John Travolta, Tom Cruise, Nicole Kidman in the one-act play, Remember the Thetans.
3. Hurricane Katrina and the Bush-Bashing Waves
2. 'Calypso' Louie Farrakhan and the MotherShips
1. Fidel and Hugo and the Brokeback Despots.
(Filed under limousine liberals, moonbat_adventures, the fifth column, fun stuff)
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