Yeah, I'll help out...

From here:

TEHRAN, Iran — Iran has formed battalions of suicide bombers to strike at British and American targets if the nation’s nuclear sites are attacked. According to Iranian officials, 40,000 trained suicide bombers are ready for action.

The main force, named the Special Unit of Martyr Seekers (SUMS) in the Revolutionary Guards, was first seen last month when members marched in a military parade, dressed in olive-green uniforms with explosive packs around their waists and detonators held high.

You know, after reading this I was thinking... Said I, "You know, after a while, they're gonna run out of trained suicide bombers through attrition. How can I fill that niche and at the same time help these noble "martyrs" better prepare for what they want to do?"

And then the thought came to me:

The Psycmeistr School for Suicide bombers!!!

That's right--with training at the Psycmeistr School for Suicide Bombers, your little jihadist can be well on his way to meeting Allah and his own 72 virgins!

We teach them everything! No fumbling around with detonators at awkward times. No embarrassment from unsightly wires sticking out of their flap-jackets. Yessir, Mr. and Ms. Mullah. Just send 'em over to Psycmeistr School for Suicide bombers (a division of the Psycmeistr School of Technology, Inc.), and we'll take care of the rest.

As a matter of fact, for their final exam, we'll fit them with a real, custom-fitted Armani suicide vest, and send them off on our own 40-acre proving ground, where they can actually try it out to see if the glowinggrowing field of suicide jihadism is right for them!

And if they're not completely satisfied upon completion of their final exam, just return their remains in the handy bio-hazard waste container (included with their diploma) back to Psycmeistr's School for Suicide Bombers, where tuition will be cheerfully refunded (less a $500 handling fee, of course).

So, Mr. & Mrs. Islamofascist, what are you waiting for??? You'll make your budding jihadist the talk of the town when you tell your friends and neighbors that you sent him to the Psycmeistr School for Suicide Bombers!*

Hurry--classes are filling up fast! Ask about our Ramadan and earlybird specials!

*(Fully accredited by the SUMS)



(Filed under religion of pieces)